Beyond the Canvas
by RomanticFictionFreak
Summary: It was those eyes that stayed with him. Molten bronze, over a golden lily. If art can summon a thousand words, it can leave Sydney breathless. Afterall, it was he, of all people, who could see the beauty that lied within her.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Beyond the Canvas**

**Time: Some time after Bloodlines ending**

**Disclaimer: No, i do not own the Bloodlines series or Sydney or Adrian or anyone other character, though i do wish Adrian was mine... **

**Please enjoy!**

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><p>When Adrian answered the door, there were two main things I noticed. The first, that his fashionable, and most likely expensive clothes, were splattered with dots of colored paint. And second, his eyes were bright with what could only be excited inspiration.<p>

"Hey, Adrian," I greeted.

"Hey, Sage," he responded, moving aside so I could walk through the doorway.

My mind was too stunned by his appearance, that I didn't get the gesture and instead just stood outside. I tried focusing on the intent of my visit, but it was hard enough to concentrate on not staring. Adrian just looked so...lively. It was something his corrosive attitude couldn't ruin.

His eyebrows rose in confusion. "I have to say, even from you, Sage, I'm not used to women turning down my invitations."

Well, _almost_ not ruin it.

I blinked away my dazed thoughts and stepped through. "I was just coming by to check up on your research. I haven't updated in a while." "Oh," Adrian said, something funny in his voice, as he shut the door. "Well, Sonya and the rest aren't here, so..."

I frowned. The rest. He didn't have to tell me he meant Dimitri. Dimitri's stay was not something Adrian was exactly excited for, or had even expected. It was almost unhealthy, and I couldn't help but keep a more studious eye on Adrian. Wary of his actions that could turn from harmless to outrageously wild in a single night. Dimitri had every right to be here, but I couldn't help but feel eager for him to leave. Watching Adrian just strengthened that feeling. I was on the look out for Jill, of course. Concerned for the effects of Adrian's immoral addictions on her. And I didn't want to have to babysit him and wake up at the crack of dawn just to drive across town to pick him up from some all-girl's dormitory.

"That's okay," I told him casually, reminding to look away from the deep green of his eyes, "I—"

My gaze turned to the rest of the living room. I was too engrossed to notice it before, but now I took in my surroundings. Similar to Clarence's living room when Adrian had been doing his 'homework,' canvases and rolls of paper decorated the room. Easels stood up against the walls, wet paint shinning on newly finished artwork. Landscapes and sketches, all with such interesting qualities meant to stand out. I recognized some paint colors on the canvases that seemed to have made their way to Adrian's clothes. And one painting in particular, across the room, still sitting on its easel, left me breathless.

It was a close up of the side of a face, focused so that the cheekbones were angled down, and the eye was looking slightly up. A golden brown eye. It stared straight through me, through the painting- its angles and planes so familiar and detailed to every line, I could almost feel a _life_ coming from it.

I hadn't realized I had been slowly approaching the work until Adrian walked up beside me. "I wanted to show you this once it dried, but since you're here..."  
>Through my mesmerized state, I felt him watching me. But before I could wake my voice enough to speak, I was rendered speechless again. From my stance, the light hit the painting differently. And I saw the brilliant reflection of the golden swirls of a lily. Right below the eye.<p>

Instinctively, my fingers reached up to my own lily imprint resting on my cheekbone. As if to prove it was real.  
>Still unable to speak, I looked to Adrian, who I found looking at the painting as if deciding on its quality, but I knew it was a look of pride, and he was just trying to be humble. I would've scoffed at the thought, but in my state it wasn't possible.<br>"I tried to really capture the...beauty of it," Adrian decided, unknowingly making a blush bloom across my face. "But I wasn't sure. It took hours to get it right. Or closest to it, anyway."  
>I was looking at the eye again, but broke away when I felt the imaginary pressure from Adrian's proximity. His eyes seemed...expectant, almost. And it took me a second to realize he was waiting for my response. Little escaped my throat; I wanted to say so much more. But with all that came, I hoped my awestruck expression was enough.<br>"It's beautiful," I breathed. And it was. He had made something bland and simple to be something wordlessly beautiful.  
>Adrian smiled, warm and genuine. "Well," he began, his annoying arrogance returning, "then maybe I did capture them perfectly."<br>I felt myself smile a little. Then, as the realization of his words finally reached me, the heat on my cheeks rose. My hand came back down to my side. And I said something to somehow break the oddly flowing intensity between us. "You definitely did the tattoo justice."  
>"Yeah," Adrian perked up, glad to see I'd noticed, "I found this gold paint that kind of reminded me of your tattoo. So I tried mixing a few colors to get the reflection just right."<br>_Says the guy who claims his hands don't do __manual__ labor,_ I thought. But instead, my smile widened. He had really put a lot of work into this. Then a disappointing thought fell on me, like a cold, soaked cloak, over my shoulders. What if he was imagining someone else's eye? Rose's were brown, and maybe he just added the tattoo to save himself from admittance. But a look at Adrian, his admiration and uncharacteristic nervousness changed my thought, washing it away like sunlight to morning dew. These were my eyes. Adrian had painted _my eyes. _But why?  
>I had even bothered to ask. The word just blurted out, fueled by burning curiosity. "Why?"<br>"Because I couldn't let it go," he admitted, rare sincerity in his eyes. "Ever since I saw your eyes in the sunlight like that. I couldn't forget them. I had to paint them. You mesmerized me."  
>I stared back. Thrown into muteness yet again. I heard some spirit in his muse, and this was definitely unlike him. But I couldn't help but feel his sincerity; so honest it seemed tangible. And listening to the last of his words, I grasped the meaning of his art piece. The eye mesmerized everyone who viewed it. I only wish I knew why— that remained unknown.<p>

The trance seemed to have left Adrian so suddenly, it shocked me out of mine. "Anyway, I better get an A for this."  
>My Alchemist side sprung to life. "Adrian, you can't show this! You can't show an entire human class my tattoo! It'll-"<br>"Relax, Sage," he told me lazily, "I was just teasing you." He smirked.  
>I scowled. There was no need to tell him it wasn't funny. He knew that already. Well, at least, he knew it wasn't funny from <em>my<em> perspective. Still, I replaced the scowl with a sigh and shook my head. As if the motion cleared away the fog in my conscience, my purpose returned. "When do you think they'll be back?" I asked. Adrian gave me a blank look. "The others? With research?"  
>"Oh,"—Realization hit— "I don't know. They said something about several hours, and they left a while ago. It wasn't like I was keeping track of time or anything."<br>I translated that to "it's not my responsibility."  
>"But you're welcome to stay until they come back," he offered, friendly. No hidden remarks, no inappropriate meanings.<br>"Uh, n-no thanks," I was already heading for the door. "I have to leave. I thought this would be a quick stop. I have other things to do—"  
>"You know, Sage," Adrian's voice said against my back, making me turn unwillingly around to face him, "You don't <em>have<em> to do everything you're told, just because a superior asked you to."  
>His comment was heavier than it seemed. Hitting a little too close to the truth for me. Though I should've expected it, it felt weird coming from him. And the <em>way<em> he said it, how he looked at me with those dark green eyes as he did. The desire to stay, to be with Adrian a little while longer burned through me. But I took a second's pause to collect my logical self. I had been here long enough, with no purpose but talking to Adrian, a vampire. Even after busting Keith, I was still on thin ice with the Alchemists, and spending my free time in close spaces, alone, with a vampire, was not going to help my case. Or Zoe, for that matter. The thought of Zoe pushed away my desire far enough to give Adrian a firm look. One that told him I couldn't afford defiance, and I didn't need him to encourage it. Adrian's face relaxed, letting me go as I opened the door. But his face transformed into something else, something I couldn't quite put words to. Instead I looked away, figuring I could ponder on it later, and stole a final glance at the painting of my eye. As I walked through the night, I realized the emotion painted deep within the molten gold of the iris.  
>It was a deep fierce intelligence that seemed caged under a thick layer of glass. In a way, the eye seemed sad, as if it wanted something so bad, it was ready to fight for it, to break free of the glass barrier.<br>The warm feelings I had been filled with earlier vanished into a cold chill that gnawed at my bones, and stayed there deep enough into my dreams.

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><p><strong>*Quick note, if you think Adrian was too forward, keep in mind that I imagine this scene occurring after a while, so Sydney and Adrian have known each other for a while longer than when Bloodlines ended. (plus, it's a fluff fanfiction, and I'm a romantic! 3 )*<strong>

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and comment!**


	2. Chapter 2: Starting Up

**To avoid confusion, please read:**

**Author's Note: First of all I want to thank all of those who have reviewed, favorited, alerted and etc. this story. It makes me feel amazing, so thank you! Now, about this chapter— the first 'chapter' was originally a one-fic, and I was planning on writing a lot of little fluff chapters to come after it. These chapters are NOT IN ORDER nor are they RELATED to each other in any close manners. I feel like if they were, it'd be too much fluff for one book. So the 'chapters' are just different fluff one-scenes that I thought were cute. I hope that doesn't upset/ disappoint anybody, but I appreciate your loyalty to the story and thank you for reading!**

**Please enjoy!**

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><p>Jill had not fully accommodated herself with her new roommate, Angeline. And though I didn't blame her, I thought it was strange when she asked if she could hang out in my room. Personally, after dorming with her almost all semester, I didn't mind. But from my professional point of view, she couldn't stay long, and I warned her that she'd have to get used to Angeline eventually. She had nodded in quick agreement and settled herself on the floor. I had chosen the desk to do complete my work. And the hour flew by with us working in silence. After all, we both had a lot of catching up to do.<p>

Jill had been lying down with her homework, seemingly comfortable with hanging out in my room, when she spoke up.

"Sydney?"

"Hm?" I kept my eyes on a book. We had a test this Friday and with all the drama that had occurred in the past week, I hadn't had that much time to complete the reading assignments for English. It was Fitzgerald, a classic. So I had already read it, but it's been years since, and I didn't feel comfortable taking a test on it unless I at least brushed up on the details.

Jill hesitated. I looked up, hoping she didn't think I wasn't paying attention. "What is it?"

She bit her lip. I suddenly got the feeling that in the past hour, _I_ was the only one in the room actually working; Jill seemed to be deep in thought, as if trying to resolve a conflict in her head.

I saw her fidget with her pen, when suddenly she met my eyes. "Do you think Adrian is a good guy?"

Her question was surprised me. But I held back a groan at the turn in conversation. Adrian was the last person I wanted to be talking about. But answering Jill's question wasn't torturous. She seemed purely curious, innocent as always.

I hesitated before answering, carefully phrasing my answer. "In the inside," I settled on, "I believe he has good intentions. He struggles with certain decisions sometimes, but I think he knows what the right thing is."

Jill made a soft noise, agreeing. Eyeing her, I hoped that answer was suitable for her curiosity, but I could sense her anxiety.

"So would you…think of him as a friend type?"

I hesitated. The time I've spent with all of them, even out of professional circumstances, created a sort of relationship between us. It was strange to admit, but after everything, it only seemed right that I would call them friends. I bit my tongue—no matter my true feelings or not, my reply, my inner thoughts, were dangerous. If the Alchemists knew how close I was letting myself get to them . . . A brief flash of Keith, in the room stories underground, brought a shiver up my back.

I shook my head free, reminding myself that Jill was still here.

She seemed oblivious, deep in her thoughts. And I realized, with some dread, the question was a filler for the real one she was preparing for. With her impatience, she moved on, not even noticing how I avoided her last question.

"Sydney…" she began, her green eyes holding mine, "Do you like Adrian?" she asked casually, a spark lighting up in her.

I knew from her eyes that she didn't mean 'like' the same way I might _like_ puppies, or _like_ chemistry sets, or _like_ being relocated to warm cities. But my eyes still widened, my heart still jumped.

"I mean…" she took advantage of my taken aback hesitation, "Would you—"

I shut my book firmly, cutting off whatever suggestion she had planned to say. I stared at her. And when I responded, I set my tone: honest but without depth. "I like him. He's a good guy . . . despite all his vices. But we're friends. And that's as far as it'll go." _Ever._

Jill nodded, seeming to hide her disappointment.

"Why would you think that anyway?" I asked skeptically.

"Nothing," Jill said, turning her head away from me.

"Jill," I told her warningly, "What is it?"

Jill shrugged. But made the mistake of meeting my eyes. To which were studying her so closely she gave in. "He just seems to get in a better mood whenever he sees you. I noticed it."

_What started this?_ I thought incredulously. Flashes of my moments with Adrian appeared and left as quickly as they occurred. Of course, Jill would pick up on the tiniest hints—when Adrian would compliment me, and I'd react, blush or smile. Rare moments, true, but defined. And the bond she had with him didn't help matters. Of course she'd notice his emotions, the tiniest changes.

"Well, yeah," I decided to agree, processing this information. "But so he is with you, right?"

"I guess so," Jill said in a small voice, turning away from me again. "But he's never usually like that. Not just with you, but everyone. He's usually indifferent. After, what happened…with Rose…"

"We've just been spending a lot of time together." Even I heard the change in my tone, the defensiveness, desperation to find an alternative explanation. "With all that's been happening," I added, to clear up my voice. "The research and all."

Jill looked at me and nodded. But I sensed she didn't really believe me.

After a pause, I asked her. "Why are you analyzing this?" This was more that just her concern for Adrian's well being.

"I don't know. I just feel something. Sure, he's happy with me. But it's different with you. He's just...I don't know, brighter. Like when he's painting," Jill thought.

I pondered this.

"I guess I've just been picking up on some things too much. He's just been so…miserable since Rose. And I guess I got too excited. But I just want him to be happy. And I like you, Sydney. I want you to be happy too." Sincerity filled her every word. And I couldn't help but give a sympathetic look.

"Thank you, Jill," I said, truly grateful, "And it's nice of you to care about me. And I understand why Adrian's emotions are important to you too" —the emphasis implied between us— "But just because you want us happy, doesn't mean we have to be happy _together_, you know?" I kept our gaze, hoping she'd understand. Hoping she's let this idea go.

"Mm-hmm," she replied, her hope slowly crushing into tiny bits that would carry off in the wind.

I suddenly felt really bad. Jill had this affect on people— when her mood plummeted, those around her would too. Her affection unnerved me. In a way I always knew she was developing a friendship with me, a growing fondness. But I wasn't used to people caring about me the way she did, let alone admitting it aloud. Emotion that wasn't _approving_, but _accepting. _Thinking about it, a realization formed in my head. Other than from my mom, my receiving emotions have always been direct, serious, critical, or disapproving. There was no time for compliments. Then again it never seemed to bother me, until I came to California. Was my life really that…controlled?

"I know, Sydney," she told me gently, disrupting my thoughts, "About Alchemists and their views on us. And I know you of all people don't feel as _against_ us as others. But…maybe I was just clinging to that one thing.."

"What thing?" I asked her, warily.

When her green eyes met mine, I was too stunned to speak or look away. And then, with her quiet voice and a shrug, she said, "You've seen Adrian. Love changes you, in the most powerful ways. It can break you apart, or it can make you change yourself. Even the beliefs you've followed since you were born, the life you've grown used to. The same factors that protect you from love in the first place."

I looked away before she could keep my eyes any longer. Because as her words settled around me, I had no idea what expression she'd see on my face.

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><p><strong>Okay, so I know it's not the greatest chapter (to abrupt ending?- oh, i added a line, i hope it sounds better!... too wordy beginning?), but it was something that was sitting in my notebook, and I figured, what the heck, it's Adrian&amp;Sydney fluff, and I added it to <em>Beyond the Canvas<em>. Anyway, keep in mind the author's note above, and I hope you still enjoyed the story! (how many days till Golden Lily? I'm counting them now…)**

**Review and Comment! **


	3. Chapter 3: To me in my Dreams

"I need a drink."

I stopped myself from rolling my eyes and instead dumped Adrian on his couch.

"What you need is rest."

He didn't reply, but relaxed in the sofa and closed his eyes. As he settled in, I could've sworn I heard him mumble, "Which is why I need the drink."

I sat on the chair across from him. "How long have you been at it?" I asked him warily, observing the paler complexion and fatigue in his posture.

Adrian drooped an arm over his forehead. "Few hours. I've been practicing. 'To strengthen the half of my soul that's been damaged by alcohol.'" He mimicked a voice, which, by the way he said it, sounded like it came from Sonya.

I would've grinned if Adrian didn't look the way he did. Watching him use spirit had made my heart race in terror, observing it being used. So close to me, as if it lingered in the air the way dust might and pollute my insides if I even breathed. Though it saved ex-Strigois like Dimitri, it didn't exclude it from its unnatural existence. I had taken a deep breath; I could get through this. For the sake of my job, and even for Adrian and Jill. It nagged me how Adrian knew about my fear, and I fought to keep it off my face.

Watching spirit was disturbing, no doubt, and during the moment I was here I instead found myself watching Adrian instead, as a distraction. Witnessing Adrian do any sort of 'manuel labor' seemed incapable of occuring, but as he practiced, there was a concentration on his face. A focus that shaped his mouth, hardened his eyes. He was different. And as soon as practice was over, he went back to how he was, nothing but the sweat and tension that left a trace of hard work, or any work effort really.

I glanced at Adrian, realizing my gaze had drifted away. But found him already staring at me. His arm was lifted enough that he could see me, but cast a shadow over his eyes, darkening the green. Creating a depth that was so rarely seen on his face. I looked away hastily.

"I'm not getting that drink am I?"

I met his eyes again only to glare. "You really think that's a smart option right now?"

"Of course. I haven't had one drink in the past three days because of this training—"

"I take it that's your longest record?" I grinned lightly.

His eyes squinted, before a grin broke his face. "Your sarcasm is improving, Sage. I'm impressed."

I scoffed. "It's probably because I've been hanging around you too much."

"Is that such a bad thing?" he said feigning hurt.

This time I allowed my eyes to roll, trying to keep the teasing atmosphere. Adrian grinned.

"You going to stay?" he asked casually, adjusting his arm so that it now folded under his head and the other arm rested across his shirt. "'Cause if you are—"

"I have to make sure you don't do anything crazy while you're still recovering from spirit use. Sonya's orders. Besides, she said she'd be back soon anyway."

Adrian groaned. "So what now? I'm supposed to wait here until Sonya gets back while you baby-sit me?"

"No," I replied. "You're supposed to get some rest, and I will…" I looked around for my bag, "…work on some of my homework." A term paper was due in English, something I hadn't thought about in a week. I opened the poetry book, scanning the pages. Research— something I was trained to do, something I was good at. As I worked in the silence, and with the hope that Adrian had fallen sleep, I was almost set at ease. Almost.

"You really get a kick out of this high school crap, don't you?"

I looked up to Adrian's eyes, who was watching me amusedly. I shrugged. "I'm good at it."

"I know," he replied. "I can tell by the way you look when you're reading. Determined and focused. But that doesn't make it fun."

"I think your idea of fun is a lot more different than mine."

Adrian laughed. "Okay, that's true."

I smiled despite myself and forced my attention back to my reading.

After a moment, Adrian interrupted me again, in that nonchalant way of his. "Well, if you're not going to let me have a drink…read me something."

"What?"

He lifted a shoulder and dropped it. "You said I should rest, right? Well, something from that book of yours is bound to put me out."

I stared back incredulous for a second, taking the moment to absorb his words. "It's a book of poetry," I explained. He raised his eyebrows, waiting. "You know, there's a poem in here that kind of reminds me of you."

This seemed to interest him. He closed his eyes and adjusted himself comfortably. "Sounds good enough."

The pages flipped by until I found it. It couldn't be helped for me to glance at Adrian first; I knew he was still awake, but with his eyes closed like that, he seemed so at peace, it was soothing to watch him. "'Longing,'" I read. Adrian stirred slightly.

"_Come to me in my dreams and then,_

_By day I shall be well again,_

_For so the night shall more than pay,_

_The hopeless longing of the day..."_

I paused, listening to my own words. Then continued. Reading quietly until the last line, and then I looked up. Adrian's chest rose rhythmically, heavy breath indicating a deep slumber. The tension in his body seemed to dissipate. And I thought back to the poem, Adrian was lost in dreams by now (hopefully just his own). I felt relieved to see him resting.

His hair fell over his eyes in a way I hadn't seen before, since he's so careful with styling it. My hand reached out— _Huh, I don't remember being this close_— suddenly close enough to feel the heat radiating from his forehead—

My hand whipped back with a silent intake of breath. I had gotten up, and leaned toward the couch. I straightened up quickly, and realized that I was amplifying the dizzy sensation that was already stirring my head. Pressing two fingers to my temple, I realized through my mental outburst that lack of sleep had been disorientating me, for an unknown length of time. Collapsing back into the chair, I jumped at the sudden sound of Adrian's voice.

"You have a good reading voice, Sage," he mumbled, half asleep. He didn't sound as if he knew how close I had been, just commenting, but I still watched him warily. "Maybe I don't need a drink anymore…if you stay around often enough."

_Don't count on it._ I wanted to say, using my newly developing sarcasm. But I couldn't.

I stared at him again. A strange mix of chills and warmth wrapped around me. The idea of being here continuously caused the bottom of my spine to harden as if in ice, though it bothered me how I could feel like that after everything that's happened. Adrian should have been the least of my fears; in fact he shouldn't have been a fear at all. And the warmth came with worry. It was as though every compliment he gave me came with a price.

And every one of my actions came with a consequence.

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><p><strong><em>Thank you<em> for all of the reviews! This is the most i've ever received, and i've never felt more motivated to write. So thank you, so much. So for this chapter, it's a small one, and pretty simple, just little something i wanted to add in. I've got 2 chapters on the way, so keep reading!  
>So for the poem i used, it was "Longing" by Matthew Arnold- such a beautiful poem, really. And it actually did remind me of Adrian, so i guess you could say i got the inspiration for this chapter from Arnold's piece of work. (And also the fact that i had a term paper due and i found the poem in the first place ;) )<strong>  
><strong>And just a reminder this chapter is <span>not related <span>nor in any particular order with the other chapters of this fanfic. Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4: Everything Breaks

Suddenly we were yelling. I don't even remember how I got here, but it seemed as if the minute I entered, whatever kind of mutuality we had between each other vanished. And for once that I can remember, my emotions led me. There wasn't enough of me to recognize any of this as a mistake.

"What happened between us can never happen again!" My voice rose beyond what I expected. I didn't care if Dimitri or Sonya were here or not.

Adrian stared back at me with heated frustration. "I _know_ that, Sage," he said, his voice changing to corrosive. "Trust me, I figured it out when you ran away."

"I just," I took a deep breath, "wanted to tell you in person."

Adrian paced toward the far wall before whirling back to face me. An instinctive part of me kept my distance from him. Fear, perhaps. I had never seen Adrian this angry. Maybe a flash of it a few times since we've met, but now it seemed to take control of him. And oddly enough, my own anger reached its point, directed strongly at him. For every moment he'd infuriated me.

"Yeah, that fixes everything." Adrian gave me an irritated look. "Reopening old scars."

My eyes turned to slits, the accusation clicking together in my head. "Don't even think of putting me in the same league as Rose!"

"Why not?" he asked, egregiously. "You two are just the same. Playing me like I'm some game with a pause button you can press whenever you want to get back to your old lives! Thinking I'm not capable of _feeling_ anything. Or maybe you think I'm too damaged and pathetic to feel anything else!" He paused to make an exasperated sound. "Leading me on like that!"

"I never did anything like what Rose—!"

"You don't think she kissed me like that too?" he yelled at me, something broken in his eyes, buried beyond his anger. "Maybe you didn't lead me on that long, but you sure as hell aimed high."

"_What?_" I shouted back. Anger burned through me like poison. The words kept coming out, fueled by a hurt I couldn't understand, couldn't put words to. "I never wanted anything like this! I never intended for this to happen, like what your egotistical-self is implying." My voice sounded different to my own ears, heated and venomous. Adrian always found ways to irritate me, simple parts of his personality that I believed he thought to be charming. He always made me like this, always made me loose a part of my control to frustration or vexation. And with our situation it felt like there was no way to deal with him. A sense of desperation overwhelmed me. "And even you, of all people, should have known, I'm not like Rose, this never would have elevated into anything. Not since I'm an Alchemist, not with you being… And with all that's been going on—"

"You don't think I knew about Belikov?" Adrian almost hissed. "How I knew he was the only thing conflicting Rose? Eliminating all chances I had with her?"

I threw my hands up. "Then that was your own fault!" I snapped.

There was a pause. Adrian's dark green eyes stared at me incredulously, a look of shock and fury dangerously fused on his face. And as my own blood raced, I felt a flush cross my face. A tension wedged its way between us, a different tension than the one I almost recognized from before. But now it felt that if any of us moved, the tension would shatter and break us apart into our own individual chaos.

Adrian must have felt it too, because when he finally spoke, his voice was quiet, and somehow more frightening as the fury was transferred from his tone to his eyes. "You really are like all the other Alchemists, Sydney. Thinking you're better than us, when all you really are is _scared_ of us. Of what we can do. And you set up all these fucking rules that you, yourself, are too blind to see that they're trapping you." He held my eyes, touching me with his anger. "When have you ever acted of your _own_ accord? Without nervous glances over your shoulder or shady deals? Without worrying about getting in trouble and having your whole life changed right in front of you because you couldn't be your own person?" Adrian began to shake as his voice rose, but I was too stunned to cringe back. "You think I'm the one who's fucked up, but have you honestly ever questioned yourself? _Your_ _life?"_

For a moment I couldn't say anything; he spoke so sudden I couldn't even gasp. His words slapped me around, leaving marks I couldn't heal. Shaking me from the inside, rattling my heart against my rib cage. Every word—like emerald daggers shot through my throat, my ears, my lungs. Puncturing me whole because he had caught the truth. He nailed it— the dark part of my life that even I couldn't face. While he just ripped it open, exposing it to his scrutiny.

But somehow, my voice remained steady. A single inhale, then, "I don't have to. I trust the Alchemists." Adrian scoffed. But I continued, using the confidence of my voice before it faded. "They've done everything for me. They even got you your apartment!" I forced myself to level my voice. "The Alchemists don't make me. I know who I am. And at least I'm capable of _doing_ something with my life! Anyway, I only came here to settle things and make sure you understood," I said, hotly. Tears threatened to build up behind my eyes. I walked toward the door and threw it open. Whirling around, I faced Adrian. "And you know what? All this—" I motioned around me, referring to the entire argument, "—had nothing to do with them. This was all _my_ decision." Then slammed the door behind me.

I gasped suddenly, inhaling the night air, fighting against the rage and emotion inside me until I was far away. My voice sounded so controlled. Almost mechanical, as if those words were meant to be said, because I was told to say them. But no real depth. Still, I said them with enough force, that I knew Adrian wouldn't notice the hollowness. Driving, my fingers clenched the steering wheel so tightly they ached when I pried them loose. I shook my head. _How did this happen?_ Absentmindedly, I pulled into a parking spot and shut off the car. My strength wore out.

My hands slammed against the wheel, before I simply sat there and let the tears that had built up since Adrian analyzed me pour out. I sobbed loudly, wanting to unclench the tensions stored in my stomach. After all he'd said… I felt pain. Not from his words, from mine. Knowing I said them just to hurt him...

In this part of the campus, no one would wander by. I was alone. Free to cry out, to lose, if only for a moment, my well-disciplined, professional persona. For a few more minutes, I released the rest of my emotional disarray, then wiped my face dry as I collected myself. My eyes were red, I knew, but I made my way to the dorms with my hair down. I reached the comfort of my room unbothered. With the lights still off and my clothes still on, I slid under the covers. Focusing on my breathing, I did my best to create a numbness that would keep me stable while the world crashed around me.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes finally, an anger chapter! Let's face it, things between Adrian and Sydney are not very smooth and fantastic. I hoped this chapter was sufficient in your liking! :)<strong>  
><strong>Thank you for all the comments and reviews, you won't even believe how nice it feels!<strong>  
><strong>Yes, more chapters are on their way, not sure when the next update will be, but sorry to say it may not be as quick as this one.<strong>

**This chapter is NOT RELATED nor in any PARTICULARY ORDER to the previous chapters**

**Oh, also quick thought: do any of _you_ have any scenarios you want to happen between Adrian and Sydney, or with Jill, Dimitri, etc? If you do, i'd like to hear it. It may inspire me to actually write it! But no promises, sorry…. :)  
>Hope you enjoyed it!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Fake Birthday

I parked Latte along a curve near Adrian's apartment and nearly sprinted toward his door. To which I found him lounging around on the stairs that led to the upstairs unites of his complex. He watched me as I approached, a calmness in his eyes. Not what I expected. "Where's the emergency?" I asked him slightly out of breath. I had responded almost immediately to his text, and was now hit with a sense of confusion at his easeful state.

"There's no emergency," he responded easily.

I glanced around. The complex was nicely quiet. "Then why am I here?"

He gave me a patient look. "Because I called you, Sage."

I nearly groaned as the realization set in, but instead I gave out a heavy sigh. "You said it was important."

"It is."

I waited, irritation making my hands rest on my hips. His tone had remained light and nonchalant while irritation was beginning to darken my mood. I had been working on a very crucial History paper that had actually swallowed my whole interest. That is until Adrian texted me and promised it'd be more important than that.

My posture only strengthened the hint of amusement on Adrian's face. "Belikov and Sonya have gone out to do . . . well, whatever. But the point is, they're not here."

"Okay . . ." I said warily, unsure where this was going. Did he want me to be some sort of lookout as he pulled a prank or something?

"So," he said, adjusting himself on the steps so that he could reach beside him. "I'm giving you this." I watched with my brows furrowed until what he wanted to give me came into view. It was a vanilla cupcake with bright yellow frosting, decorated with tiny sugar crystals. In the center of the cake was a lone cigarette, its end unlit. "We ran out of candles, so I had to improvise."

My first thought was that this was a joke. But the full epiphany of what had just occurred along with the confusion that still lingered, made me form my next words. As if phrasing out my thought could better clarify the event. "You had to wait until you were alone in your apartment, called me to rush all the way over here, just to give me,"—I couldn't help to stare back incredulously— "a pastry?"

He shrugged, seemingly unaffected by what had almost seemed like an accusation from me. "I figured you didn't want a big audience. You know, prevent it from becoming a big deal," he explained.

"A big audience for what?" I asked, still dumbfounded.

"For your birthday." He said it so easily it was as if it was the most obvious statement in the world. That there was nothing surprising or special about what he had done.

I paused. For only a second I was doubtful of the date. But no, my birthday was not today. Not even close. "It's not my birthday."

"Yes, but I couldn't find out your real one. And I figured you could use an excuse for a celebration." He smiled in that cocky way of his. When I didn't say anything, he continued, "You work too much, Sage. Always doing things for other people. Never benefiting yourself."

I still hesitated. Looking for anything that meant he was joking. But despite his natural easy manner, he looked serious.

"Come on. Ten minutes won't degrade you as an Alchemist," he argued lightly.

_If only he knew_, I thought. I took a seat beside him on the steps anyway. The steps were wide for an apartment complex, but despite our fairly narrow figures, the space between us was pretty limited. It didn't bother me as much I thought it should. This was Adrian after all. My friend. Or maybe the shock hadn't fully worn off yet.

Adrian held out the cupcake, as if appraising it, then brought it closer to me.

"Make a wish," he said, watching me. "Hell, skip the wish. Just take a bite."

My head shook, staring the treat. "I can't eat that."

Adrian gave me a knowing look. "I know. But you will. Because I made it."

I frowned at him, unsure how that was any reason to get me to swallow that giant sugar cube of calories. Well, at least, not a _strong_ enough reason. Yet a tiny bit of guilt had managed to seep into my conscience.

"No you didn't." I met his eyes. That humor was still present on his face and it annoyed me how I couldn't really reciprocate. "You bought it. At some bakery. But you certainly didn't make it."

Adrian looked offended, leaning away from me. "How could you doubt my ever-improving skills?" He paused, getting rid of his mock hurt. "But I'm impressed by you calling me out on it."

I rolled my eyes, unwilling to tell him that it really wasn't that difficult to figure out. Eyeing the frilly design of the yellow frosting, I had a hard time imagining Adrian leaning over the counter with an icing tube in his hands. Art was one thing, culinary art was another.

"Bakeries make better cupcakes, anyway," Adrian pointed out. "But it is customized," he said, tapping the cigarette sticking out of it.

I couldn't help a laugh. He held the cupcake closer to me. My neck leaned back a bit. It's not that I wanted to insult Adrian, but the idea of taking even a single bite seemed . . . overbearing.

Adrian noticed this, but his humor didn't go away. "One cupcake isn't going to make your metabolism shut down."

_Easy for you to say,_ I thought. But yes, he implanted that guilt in me. His voice almost sounded pleading, or eager. As if urging me to take the birthday treat was a personal matter. Clearly he had put thought into this fake birthday, even added his personal touch, but was it worth it? I finally glanced at his eyes.

Then took a bite into the cupcake.

Its icing was softly sweet, tingling my taste bugs in a distantly familiar way. It's been a while since I've had anything this remotely sweet. Granted it wasn't a huge bite, but it was certainly enough for me to be overwhelmed by its flavor.

I chewed on the spongy cake, avoiding Adrian's eyes. He watched, nevertheless, expectantly.

I swallowed, and raised my eyes to his. "It's pretty good."

His face lit up at my admittance. "Well worth it?" He asked, swiping a finger across the cake and licking the frosting off it.

"Not nearly." I noted sourly. "Not the cupcake, at least. . ."

"Eh, you can have your pity party later," he said breezily, "But not during your birthday."

I gave him a sidelong glance, wondering what made him so happy about all this. Then a familiar phrase came to mind. "It's my party, I'll cry if I want to."

A sound burst out from Adrian at that moment. A sound that left me surprised and a little giddy. He laughed— a real one, genuine and happy. And it felt intoxicating being this close to him— which might have explained the warm tingling sensation that spread from where Adrian's knee touched mine, to the mere sound of his laughter. It was a short laugh, but the intensity from it, the same one that lingered in his eyes, made it more meaningful than a lot of the other things Adrian did.

My smile nearly turned into a giggle, but the short moment had ended, and Adrian was just grinning now.

"Okay, Sage," he said, humorously.

We looked at each other briefly, before sharing grins and looking away. The sky above us wasn't the most open view. The red rays of the sun were cut short by the roof of the apartment complex. But the length of sky we were able to see seemed enough. The Palm Springs' evening was warm, but I still managed to feel Adrian's heat radiating off from him. I had never sat this close to him for a long period of time. Taking a chance, I stole a glance at him. His head was tilted back, gazing up in way that caused the colors to reflect on his green eyes. Somehow, maybe it was the lighting, but he looked younger. I was surprisingly closer to him than I imagined, finding myself watching his mouth twitch into a carefree grin. It seemed like a free moment for the both of us.

And then it hit me.

A vampire had thrown me a birthday.

I shook my head with what started off as a scoff, but turned into a small chuckle.

Adrian caught it and slide his gaze to me. "What?"

"It's just—" I moved my eyes and looked at him. "Thank you." And I meant it.

Adrian beamed, but took this as an opportunity to add his usual snark. "Is that gratitude I hear from you, Sage?"

My eyes rolled. Despite the arrogance, his light expression was nice to watch. His words settled in, and I realized what he said. "Wait, did you only throw this fake birthday so you could earn my gratitude?"

"No, of course not!" he protested. "I did it to earn that."

"Earn what?" I asked, looking away. His voice had changed into a more serious tone.

"Happiness," he told me, keeping my eyes. "It's so rarely seen on your face. You're always serious, always working."

"There's a reason for that. And happiness isn't exactly common on your face either you know," I teased.

"What?" he grinned, but I saw it falter. "I smile all the time."

"Yes," I admitted, "But not without sarcasm, or some twisted sense of humor."

A sly smile took place on his mouth.

I pointed at him. "Like that."

The smile became warmer, but he looked away. After a moment he spoke up again. "Well played, Sage."

"I wasn't playing," I informed him.

He let out a laugh. "I know. You never play." It wasn't an insult, but a halfheartedly comment. And it didn't offend me or set me off, to my surprise.

I shrugged helplessly. "Only when forced."

"So is that what I had to do?" He glanced at him, boring into me with those green eyes. "I had to I _force _you to eat that cupcake?"

"It's not even my birthday" I countered. I chose not to point out that he had practically done so.

He looked away, but stared off with a look of ease. "You don't need a birthday to have fun once in a while. There are things called 'breaks.'"

"Not in the Alchemist world . . ." I commented, keeping my voice teasing.

There was some silence. Then, in my peripheral, Adrian shook his head in exasperation. "Man, I can't even believe what it'd be like if I lived in that world. Watching you work is hard enough."

There was nothing really special about his words, or even how he said them. But as he casually mentioned enduring life as an Alchemist, a ridiculous image of Adrian giving up his late night parties and incorrigible drinking habits to spend his days in a serious environment, triggered a laugh within me. I felt it bubble up my throat until the laughter continued, fringing on outright hysterics.

Adrian only stared at me oddly, a smile of amusement still on his face. I didn't think he knew what was so funny, but it didn't look like he cared. In fact, through his usual snark, there was a deeper admiration in his eyes as he watched me laugh my heart out.

"I think you're suffering from a sugar overdose, Sage," he commented.

My laughter died down a bit, "No…no," I tried to say, "It's just…what you said."

He met my eyes again, waiting.

"You, working as an Alchemist. . ." I explained through my little chuckles. "It's difficult . . . _impossible_ to imagine."

"I don't know, Sage." He gave me a sly smile. "I think one of those Lily tattoos would look pretty good on me."

I glanced at his face. The planes and angles of his cheekbones would no doubt compliment a gold tattoo. Then again, I had little doubt his looks couldn't pull off anything.

I shook my head and let it go. My stomach ached slightly from my sudden happy outburst, but I took a few deep breaths to replenish the ones I'd lost.

It was comfortable silence after that. I refused to think more deeply about what Adrian had said. A tattoo on his face would mean more than what he thought. It'd carry a burden in him he hadn't the slightest idea of understanding. Instead I flicked my tongue in my mouth, feeling it thickly coated in the remains of the icing I had consumed. Despite the consequences I would have to face later, the warmth of the gesture seemed to overwhelm me even more. To have someone else do something for me— I wasn't used to it. But coming from Adrian, it felt nice. As if I really could take a break and not worry about the world. It was only after I sighed and glanced at the darkening sky I realized feelings like this, no matter how great or warm, couldn't last.

I looked at Adrian, finding him already looking at me. Pointedly my eyes flickered above us. "It's almost curfew."

He nodded, understanding. A smile still lighting up his face in a way I haven't seen before.

Seeing that widened my own smile, and before I got up, I pulled the hair away from my face and leaned toward the cupcake. Though thankfully the cigarette wasn't lit, I pretended to blow it out. I felt Adrian watch me, as I leaned back and got to my feet. He did the same, and I took the cigarette out of its sugary fortress and handed it to him.

"Here," I said, "Save this for your stash."

"Sure thing," he said absentmindedly, taking it from me.

I grinned and got down the step, starting my way on the sidewalk.

"Wait a minute, Sage," Adrian called.

I turned around, startled to find him right behind me, holding out the treat.

"You forgot something." He handed it out to me.

I shook my head instantly. "No, I can't take that."

Adrian gave me a stern look over his previously humorous one. "Sage, if you don't take it now, I have other ways of getting it to you."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to call his bluff. But despite his careless attitude, his green eyes met mine firmly. I sighed and took the cupcake.

His smile returned. "See you later."

I walked to my car and placed the cupcake in Latte's cup holder, praying the icing wouldn't make a mess all over the edges. Suddenly, through the noise of the engine, I heard a knock on my window with a call. "Hey, Sage!"

I nearly jumped before I stupidly realized it was Adrian. Rolling down my window, Adrian leaned in slightly, making my breath halt.

A grin toyed with his lips, the lights on the dashboard casting a colorful glow across his face, illuminating the green of his eyes. "Happy birthday," he wished softly.

I could only nod. He seemed satisfied with that and leaned back, heading toward his door. My window rolled back up as I made my way toward Amberwood.

The cupcake had almost been forgotten when I pulled into a parking space, until it came about time to get out. I paused, turning off Latte and stared at it. The frosting was still perfectly placed, except for the small dent I had made with my teeth and the hole from Adrian's "candle."

Touching the roof of my mouth with the tip of my tongue, I realized that sugary feeling had vanished for quite some time. And a part of me felt a pang of longing. Not necessarily for the taste, but for the memory of having it there. Glancing around, the parking lot was mostly empty. I eyed the cupcake yet again, suddenly remembering the feel of the stone steps of Adrian's apartment complex, while his laugher echoed around me.

I sighed heavily and lifted the pastry out of its holder, fully intent on getting out of my car and finding some other way to get rid of it.

Then, the feel of the evening heat came rushing back at me. The peaceful silence as I imagined a careless state, the green eyes that could see mine with such a knowing look, it scared me and comforted me at the same time.

I felt the cake weigh down my hand. Glancing down, I raised it to my lips. Then, almost reluctantly, took another bite.

* * *

><p><strong>Haven't been back in a while. Okay, so this was supposed to be a short chapter…but it came out longer than I thought :) anyway, no this isn't an after-the-fight make-up chapter, it's is as usual UNRELATED or in ANY PARTICULAR ORDER to the pervious chapters :)<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed it! Thought it was just something cute.**

**Also, I had NOT read Golden Lily the day I came up with this idea and wrote it. So I did just finish the book, but even though I've already read it, I'd appreciate it if none of you give any spoilers in your reviews/comments/etc, because I'd hate it if I indirectly spoiled such a FANTASTIC novel to a loyal reader :)**

**Anyway, I do have several more little fics, keep in mind that these were created without the influence of Golden Lily when I first started writing, and most likely my chapters are after Bloodlines, without any of the events of Golden Lily. Sorry, but yeah. Hope You enjoyed it!**


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